Eating Your Young From a Unique Perspective with Ryan George
Ryan George, an experienced ICU nurse, offers a candid account of his decision to leave his job due to workplace bullying, ultimately leading him to exit the nursing profession altogether. As a gay man in a predominantly female field, Ryan sheds light on the reality of toxic workplace dynamics, particularly the "mean girls" phenomenon. Despite his proficiency as a nurse and dedication to teaching, Ryan found himself targeted and uncomfortable in his work environment. He emphasizes the importance of kindness, support, and camaraderie among nurses, advocating for a healthier workplace culture. Ryan's experience underscores the toll of toxic environments on both healthcare professionals and patient care, urging for a more compassionate and supportive approach within the nursing community.
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Beth Quaas
Everyone and welcome to Doni or Young. I'm your host, Beth cross. Today is going to be a little different than what I've had for guests in a while. I have Ryan George on. He's been a nurse for many years and he's coming at us today from a unique perspective. He's going to talk to us about his own bullying experience and why he has decided to step away from nursing at this. Time. I'm so excited to have him on. Welcome to Ryan, George.
Ryan George
Thanks, Beth. Thanks for having me.
Beth Quaas
So tell us a little bit about yourself.
Ryan George
Yeah, I, you know, I've had such a long education and ended up in nursing. I have been a critical care nurse for gosh, 10 plus years. I've worked in a few facilities, you know. Up to level 1 trauma centers I've done open heart surgeries. I've done. I mean, I've done it. So it's been a great. It's been a great and wonderful career and experience some of the, you know, I've seen stuff most people will never see bedside, so I've been very fortunate. And I've been very fortunate to have a lot of great leaders in my life to show me. You know, because as as we all know, nursing is not like, ohh, we finished school and we're ready to go, you know. So it's always great. And I'll probably touch, hopefully based on some of those mentors I've had throughout my career because it they have been a good. A A good part of my life. So yeah, that's a little bit about me. I've I've worked. Everywhere from small town to the Minneapolis here in the cities and then. And then even to say, you know, recently just the same day center, which has been super easy and nice.
Beth Quaas
Yeah, you don't do I see you anymore, right?
Ryan George
No. So I did leave ICU. I did leave bedside, you know, in that aspect, I used to work nights like 10. Gosh, almost 12 years nights. ICU ER, you know, on the rapid response team. But. You know, it just you get to a certain point in your career, I think where you think when when is when have I done enough? I'm not going to fix everything and now I need to start caring for myself and the people around me. You know. So while nursing is great in the aspect we get to heal and you know help others. It's also, I think, very detrimental to the nurses that do it.
Beth Quaas
Right. Unfortunately, I think a lot of nurses don't get to the point that you did where you realize you do have to take care of yourself first. Nobody's going to do it for you.
Ryan George
Absolutely. I think you know, I think I'm so you know I say this 10 plus years, I think it's been 15 almost, but that's like I'm still a baby, you know, compared to most nurses that do this, that and I think of some of them you know some of them that I've learned from. Either you know in the rapid response team or in ER, I mean some. I learned my IV skills from some one of them was an OB nurse. Ohh my gosh, she. I mean, she didn't miss. And then two other ones were ER. Nurses. So it was amazing that I've had those mentors too. But yeah, it's been it's been crazy as far as those 15 years. But getting away from bedside has been thankfully, the best decision. I kind of have made for myself. Just because of a lot of the experiences I've had in healthcare. I just I think for myself. I came to the conclusion that after a while you can, like I said, you can only give so much. But I am fortunate enough I could, you know, step away or back away because I have a supporting partner and husband that you know absolutely loves and adores me so. I'm I'm like please, I hope he does. But I'm very fortunate in that aspect that I could step back cause most people, you know, do this as their career. And I know so many strong women that I've met throughout ICU and bedside. That's, you know, are supporting the four kids and their husband and all this stuff. You know you women. You know, I'm I am a gay man and I have been pro woman since I came out. Of the womb.
So I can't see enough.
Ryan George
Good things about what women do and what they're capable of, because I used to. I think. Well, she's a stay at home mom and now I'm like, who wants that job? You know, there's like 12 titles. I feel like that goes with that. So.
Beth Quaas
Praise the women that do it. I will say I I know you and I know some of your story and today will. Some people out there will say, Oh my gosh, yes, that happened to me and some people will say. He's crazy. What is he talking about? What was there? Probably the people you're going to be talking to today. So I want to say this is going to be an excellent episode and I think you are going to shoot straight. And I think some people need to hear of it. Hear this. And I think some people are not going to like it. And that's OK, because this podcast is about. But talking about a lot of different perspectives, and I think yours is, like you said, a unique perspective. And so I want you to say it all.
Ryan George
Perfect. Yeah. I mean, we as you said before, we do know each other. You know, I'm very just straightforward with how I like to say something because I don't like people guessing. About what I'm saying to them or thinking, you know, I I don't speak that way, but I know in nursing that can be hard because some people you have to learn to talk different ways to other people. And then you know in, in, in nursing, you can talk to someone the most perfect in the most perfect. And they're still going to hate you so. I mean, yes. You know, so I think thank you for, you know, for saying that, you know, this today, this is going to be quite the unique perspective I am, you know, a gay man in healthcare and nursing. I mean, there are plenty of us out there but. I think. You know me telling the story of why I have backed away and stuff is gonna be great because it shows that. How nurses do learn to eat their young and how some act towards each other to protect themselves. So I think just going forward. I'm just going to start off. When I first became a nurse and that was the first kind of time I've tasted bitter regret, you know. It it was. It was such a wonderful place to learn. At the 1st place I had worked at and I won't obviously name names, but you know I did. I did work there as a nursing assistant and kind of worked my way up. OK, so from going, going from that and then I kind of became an I was an LPN for a while and then I kind of did a whole bunch of trick. Haps at that place, and then I finally became an RN well. I feel like along the way, you know and, but I want to start off telling everyone that I am not. Super nurse. OK, I I am a B plus nurse. On my best day. You know, there are so many smarter nurses in me. So as I talk about my experience and stuff, I want people to remember that I am not.
Beth Quaas
Believe that for a reason.
Ryan George
You know the best of the best. There are people that are so much smarter than me, and I've learned so much from and that I can keep learning from. So I want to start off by saying that before I go. Little off subject but.
Beth Quaas
I think you're being humble.
Ryan George
Well, thank you anyway. So going forward, I kind of had started as an RN and I learn I do learn quickly I which was good. You know, if I put my mind to it. I can always do it. I mean, I grew up in a rural farming community, gay. I am not white. You know, I've had a rough from the start, so you know.
Beth Quaas
You've had a couple strikes against you.
Ryan George
For sure for sure. So it you know all of those things, I'm so happy that happened to me and I am the way I am now because. They've built and, you know, made me who I am, so. That being said going forward. As I was kind of learning to become a nurse and stuff, I picked up things very quickly. But there are other spots where I was like, OK, like I want to train in here. I want to do critical care I want. To do ER, but I had. People along the way that say it you're going too fast. Like you know you're. You're learning too fast. I don't. I don't even know what that meant. And. Our educator, she first of all, she tried to work in ICU and she couldn't hack it. For her to be telling me that I was going too fast or I was. That I needed to slow down or something. I was beyond me. But you know it. Eventually I did. I just kept going because I learned and I read things and I did my outside homework because like as I said before, nursing is not. Ohh, I'm ready. You know, I took my boards, now I. Can do all. This you need people along the way in your career that are going to be like hey. Grab your hand and say you know this is what you do. These are tricks. Did you understand that? I mean, we all like, go out and pretty. You know, learning what leva fed and Neo and all that stuff is, but until you're in ICU and someone's life is in your hand. Even a small. Up or down on that pump can be detrimental, so you need those people, and I unfortunately didn't feel like I had that in my first job because of my educator, had her own issues with learning, I feel like I couldn't do it so, but anyway, so that was kind of the first taste I had with. You know the. Again, I'm pro women, love, but I think with women they treat me. Almost as the same as them, and we all know that female. I don't have to tell the listeners on this podcast about how people will treat each other, how nurses will eat their young, or how they act towards each other. And you know what, Beth? I was one of them at one time.
Beth Quaas
We all have been absolutely.
Ryan George
We all have been there. And you know what? I was probably the worst of them because I was gay. And I I'm I was intelligent. I knew what I was doing and I was just like, listen, if I can get it, you can too. It wasn't until I learned. A softer side of myself just kind of saying like. People are going to learn if they're willing to give the effort. I will teach them, but there are some that don't want to be taught.
Beth Quaas
Right.
Ryan George
And you have and that's the biggest thing I want the listeners to know. Like if you have a skill teach because that's what we need. However, you need to know how you're going about it because some people, they don't want to learn and they're going to hate you for being that person that's running around trying to teach everyone how to slip past a valve when you're doing an IV. You know like.
Speaker
Right.
Ryan George
So I just. I feel like we need to, you know, be kinder and gentle. To each other but. UM.
Beth Quaas
And I think also taking the perspective of the learner sometimes. Those learners. Students are scared to death. And when you scream at him or yell at or make roll, your eyes make him feel stupid. Learning can stop there as well.
Ryan George
Ohh for sure because you know and they're just then they're so focused right there on the insecurities and stuff and you just stop that bear. You know, it's a huge barrier to learning. Right. And it, like I said, I've I've been. Guilty of it, but. Going back to this first story, This is why I kind of learned to be like that. And it wasn't until later in my career that I became softer, like, OK, well, you're not going to learn this, but here I'm going to teach you. How to just get from ABC and D and then we'll learn how to put those letters together to make a sentence later. Let's just like get the basics and you know and then you feel more comfortable. So anyway, as I was working there. I started to climb up pretty quickly, so I I worked in a a float role, so I'm like you have to train a critical care. I was there was an ER shortage. I think it was going to ER almost every night. And then I see you. And if I wasn't doing that, I was on the House. Float roll. Which we went to the codes. We recorded the code Blues. All that. You know the trauma stuff. So. As I started to get more skill, I started to slide into those more coveted roles of House Resource House float or going. And you know what? Beth, it didn't matter. I went into staffing every night to see where I was going, and it didn't matter where I was going. 3-4 or five people would be complaining about well, right. Why does Ryan get to go here? Why is Ryan going to ER again? Why is there, you know? And I finally told staffing him, like, then start sending me. To rehab. Or a medical I don't know what to do anymore. Like I have a skill. And that's just how it has to be, OK. So I started to get pretty. Put by that already that nurses were talking like that about me. I was. I was happy with how my career was going because I was learning. I was going to ER, I was learning all this. Stuff how to? You know how to stop the heart, you know, and then restart all of this fun stuff. You get to learn in ICU and, ER, I didn't care that I was being put in these false full resource roles or anything, because that's not where I wanted to go with my career.
Beth Quaas
Right.
Ryan George
I didn't want to be an administration. You've you know me. I'm. I have a mouth on me. Yeah, you know, so I I just like having fun while I love teaching, you know, there are people I hope that are listening to this podcast that have said yes. He has taught me so much. And you know, they're probably gonna be some that are like, oh, my God, he. Was the worst person I've ever met.
Beth Quaas
All of us.
Ryan George
You know, and that's the thing. Unless you're strong or build that thing again around your heart, those things hurt at 1st and people are gonna hate you. For no reason. And that's kind of what I was learning at my first job. You know, I was gay. So it's like where they I was not in a major city. I'll tell you that and where I was working is very. So as a gay man, you know, women don't like being. I it's a competitive thing, I'll tell you that women, I feel like view gay men just like they do other women, and they're cruel to each other. They're cruel to us. Just how they say things. I. I just remember. All in my history I can I can remember women. That have done the most detrimental harm to my career. And the major one is I'll get to. I'm getting to the story. I'm a little long winded, you know that.
Beth Quaas
But let me just ask one clarifying question. Do you think it's because of the sheer volume of women in nursing or and maybe you? Didn't have a lot of male nurses where you worked, or do you think it's truly the way you said it is? It's because of? How we're built to be we're different.
Ryan George
I think it is how it's built to be. You know about. I have. I can't tell you how many of my girlfriends have cried on my shoulder about men, you know, like I understand. I'm not a woman, so I don't understand everything about you guys. You guys are still such a mystery to all of us. But I have such a unique perspective as a gay man. Because I've cried with all of you know, I've cried with you. I've seen your guys's insecurities that you tell. Me and I've also seen how you treat each other. You know, it's some people are. I think until we get to a point in our lives where we have this. This thought of I have everything I need. We will always have that jealousy, or if I don't, if someone does something sometimes you know, I don't think it's natural instinct for people to be like, good for them. Like, I'm happy they got that. I think most people are like, well, what did they have to do to get that brand new car you. Know, and that's like.
Beth Quaas
All heard that.
Ryan George
Yeah. And that's the hard thing. And you know, like I said, as I get. Older and stuff. I'm I I look at my younger self and think like God. I was like that a lot because I didn't have all that stuff. And now you know, I'm in a more secure place, both emotionally, personally and everything it. I can see now how. People hate other people for the happy things they have in their life, and unfortunately I think you know. Being going back to my story, I was climbing the ranks. I was doing these things. I was happy. Because I was accomplishing goals and I am such a goal person, you should see my list. At home like Ohh. I love to cross out a good list. You know, so it was hard. And finally, I was just getting so sick of it. I I would come home and tell my husband. UM. And we weren't even married at the time. I was just like what? I don't know what to do. Like, if I go here or do this, someone talks about me this way or someone says I'm acting this way and it's like, that's not even how it is. And here's here's what I'm going to tell you. Here's the story. And this is what really sent her home. Her name? Is Lucy. Hits my hair. What color? She and I were talking about a fellow employee, you know. So her and I do, did the House resource roll a lot together and stuff and. Sometimes when there's a lot of things someone can't figure something out. Obviously we go try to fix it or whatever. Well, this other nurse had called me and she was trying to crush meds to get into a pig tube. OK, she's on, like telemetry or. Something this is the same nurse that wants to be ICU trained and you know well, I love education. I think there is a certain point or. Reality we have to face that some people aren't built for ice us. Some people don't. Can't think that quickly or you know, connect dots. So I mean, the fact she was asking me how to put meds through a peg tube was alarming because you have so many other things to worry about in ICU. Pig is the least of your problems. You know, as you know, it's it's it's, it's insane that. Is that is like learn breathing.
Beth Quaas
Right, right.
Ryan George
It's like breathing, you know it it it that takes no thought. It's all the other. Things you have to do.
Beth Quaas
Well, and not only is it just tasks, it's the demeanor you have. To have.
Ryan George
Yeah. Yep. You gotta be almost assertive. You gotta make those decisions. You gotta be like, what is going on here? You also, I think have to be able to willing.
Beth Quaas
Can a critical care area?
Ryan George
Willing to ask other people for help. I don't know everything about what's going on with my patient, you know? Hey, I need the three smarter nurses and me in this room. You know, I I need some help. So. Ohh. Yeah. And then you're just like, yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, you know. But then you learn from that. And then the next time it happens, you have that skill. So. Anyway, we were talking about this nurse and. Beth, it was so crazy because. For the first time in my life, I didn't say that much, you know? And that's The funny thing, because I'm such a blabber. And it was like the I was just like, you know what I did? All I said was I don't think she's ready. I know that people want to fill these coveted roles, but like, you have to walk before you can run.
Speaker
OK.
Ryan George
UM. So I had just said that with her this conversation we had and. I was pulled into my boss's office the next day because I have a poor attitude and an ego.
Beth Quaas
Or you're spot on and you saw something that no one else would talk about.
Ryan George
Yeah, I mean, I literally said like, I think if we're having trouble with meds in a pig too, we should slow down. That's all. Like, that's literally all I said. And I said just said, I don't think she's ready. Well this Lucy. I forget what I called her last name anyway. Lucy ran to my boss and said that I was having an ego and all this basically because of all these roles I filled. She thought by getting me in trouble they would pull me out of these roles. And just send me the units or whatever, which is so unfortunate. I worked with one. We'll call him Saul. I remember I saw him after I left hot out of that place at a wedding and he just told me he goes. I can't believe those women forced you out of there. I'm so mad he goes, and that's all it was. He goes. That's all it was. He goes. We had some wonderful, intelligent male climbing up the ranks and all they could see was jealousy. And I said I didn't even want it for those purposes. I said, you know what? I love parking my **** in ICU for a full 12 hours. Thank you. Turn and talk, you know like. You have a stable patient. Come on that those sometimes are the best nights not running around the hospital, coding people, running people to hammer out, you know, all this stuff so. It was hard this this Lucy caught me dirty. And it was. It was the first time that I realized that no matter how hard I help people or how hard I worked, there will always be people to undercut me and and lie. About what comes out of my mouth. So as you know, I mean, you've met me. I'm so honest and direct because I just don't want someone. And I've had that my whole life since I was growing up as a kid. You know, I acted straight for 15 years, not. Well, but I tried.
Beth Quaas
And that's hard. That's another thing you you lived a long time trying to be somebody that you weren't. Yeah. And now you're just trying to live.
Ryan George
Yeah. Yes.
Beth Quaas
A life so that everybody knows what you're thinking and how feeling. And one person, well it. And it's never just one person, but that's the thing with don't eat. You're young. Young isn't an age. It doesn't mean an age. It means somebody that's. Older that maybe is being treated differently because they're older or like you. You were different than a lot of people that you worked with. So now you are the young person. You're the young of the Donny. You're young.
Ryan George
Yeah, and it's crazy. And like I want to say to those nurses that are going up, you know, you are are growing up in this, this culture. It is hard. I mean, some of us will look at. You if you've been like doing it for six months, there are some questions you should already know. But the one thing I want to say is I know you're scared and you don't want to look stupid, but remember, if you're brand new to something, even if you've been a nurse five years and you go to a different unit, you're new. That is a whole set of skills you shouldn't know. Unless you've been running an ICU in your apartment, you know, like if you go to ICU from. Telemetry. There's a whole list of things you shouldn't know, and I want to just encourage everyone listening when you do do that. Be afraid to feel stupid for a year. That's those stupid. Well, this is probably stupid question. Well, ask it. You have a year because after that year, if you don't know that answer. It's gonna look twice as bad because you should have known it in that year, you know? So I just want to encourage the listeners too, to make sure that they. UM. Feel OK to feel dumb for a year or so it. Be and and. I say a year as a ballpark. You know, some units are easier to learn than others, but each has its challenges. Of how we chart and all that stuff. So that's what I kind of want to say about that. And I also want to say like uh. Don't be afraid to. You know, shine. I left my first job. And I think in the e-mail when I left, I had written something along the lines, you know, don't worry about those who are trying to bring you down. They're already beneath you.
Beth Quaas
True story.
Ryan George
And and I hadn't, you know, sent that in the final e-mail before I left, because that's how I had felt. I had felt like my educator had tried to keep me from doing all this stuff and learning what I wanted to. You know, I also felt like. The betrayal of just the female nurses I've worked with and that was just one story of many. I have Beth about. The women I've. Interacted with in these critical cares that just blatantly lie about stuff, or we've all been in in, I mean, we've been in tense situations where in ICU things don't go right. Like I'm not going to be like, you know, Bobby, can you please go grab me a. A liter bag of NHS. We need to spike here quick. No, I've got blood pressures of 40 over dead. I don't got time to be sweet, you know? So there are times and places. But I also think.
Beth Quaas
Right.
Ryan George
There are women in my. Career that have been so bad and nasty to work with that have just made-up things like I'm saying and. That ICU situation, if I hadn't. If even my eye had rolled a little. I've had another female nurse say, well, Ryan was. You know, doing this during the code to so and so and it's like, is that what we're worried about right now? If this was your mother in this bed right now, would you be worried about how my eyebrows are? You know? And I'm sorry I have to pluck these things every day. Sometimes I have an art. Sometimes I look angry. You never know what you're getting with these eyebrows.
Beth Quaas
That is such a good point times that we just need to get the job done and we don't need, we don't mean to be rude or come across brash, but it happens. And let's talk about it. But I think in every instance that you're talking about, those nurses couldn't have a conversation with. You they went around you to someone else and I encourage people to learn the skill of having conversations with people we may be having conflicts with because. That's that's grown up. You need to be a grown up.
Ryan George
Yeah, and I that's what I feel like this. How come? Didn't come to me and tell me like, well, I thought you were being a little brash. She came to me, all right, to tell me what she thought and how she and I'll. I'll be honest with you. She was telling me all these things about this nurse that she shouldn't be going to ice you. And I literally only said like, OK, you gotta walk before you run. Like maybe we should reevaluate. You know, and then all of a sudden, I'm the crock. I'm the one. And that's the hard thing. Like people don't want to have those honest conversations. And I will tell you, the people that are listening that have met me or comments or direct contact with me, no, straight up within the 1st 5 minutes, if I like you or not like you know, I'm just a very honest open person. If you're rubbing me the wrong way, I'll still be nice to you. But I don't have to have interactions with you and that's.
Beth Quaas
Perfect. That's how we should all be.
Ryan George
Yep, and that. Yep. And that's something you know, I'll express why or why my distaste. I'll let you know. Why I'm not interacting with you? Because maybe you'll learn from it, but chances are, if I'm not interacting with you, there's a reason and you're probably not going to learn a lesson. I'm trying to tell you anyway, you know? So, but at least you know, I always. I would say if you're having this issue. We all know the like when you have an issue with somebody feels. Gross, right? It feels icky. Like that, that feeling will go away if you just confront it, like, go to that person. Tell them, hey, this is what I thought you did to me. Even if it's me. Be like Ryan, you know, like, I felt like you were rude to me because of this and I was trying to do that. And I might say, Sally, I needed this and this in the crash cart. I didn't have time to hold your hand and braid your hair. You know? And then if she's, like, OK, and I'll be like, I'll be a little gentler next time. I'm sorry. And, you know, we can still learn and grow from these things, but.
Beth Quaas
I've had someone come up to me and say, well, I don't think you like me. I'm. I was completely shocked by that I.
I'm completely shocked by that, yeah.
Beth Quaas
They didn't even think about it. So if I was coming across. That way it was. Totally unintentional. I'm glad you told me, because now we can talk about it and I can say, Oh my gosh, that totally is not what I meant. And I'm I apologize if that's how it came across. But by her telling me that it totally changed our relationship.
Ryan George
Yeah. And it's so crazy. It's so crazy. Healthcare is so hard as it is. You know, the patients, we take care of the families we bond with and then, you know, when we lose those patients, I feel you know. I feel like each time we lose someone that's a little piece, a little chip off our heart that goes with, you know, because we cared for them. We did everything we could. And that's what I love about nursing to be there. To help those that need it. To use my brain. For something so good. But as I told you before, I've stepped away now because I can't handle the politics and the honestly the women in are fighting and I say that because I've never had problems with the males, even straight males. That don't like gay men. Some some of my best friends and I see you were male friends and they were so fun. So it's not like I hate straight men. OK? I've dated a few. Ohh.
Beth Quaas
We definitely won't tell me.
Ryan George
But you know, it's it's it is hard. That's the hard part. All of these. That first experience was so detrimental that I left that hospital and I. I mean, I think I shot a flare out and before that flare went out, I was I had three jobs at a different hospital, you know.
Beth Quaas
And do you think it was the culture of? That unit all together. Was it a couple people? Was it the culture of the hospital?
Ryan George
I think it was the culture of the hospital. I mean, we had this whole thing. If you didn't like. It was insane at the place I first worked with, you had to charge every four hours. If you didn't. Epic flagged it, and then you were in the office. If you had three times. I mean, it was a culture of tattletales. Yeah, it was one of the worst places I've ever worked for that. And there was a.
Beth Quaas
Team work if you.
Ryan George
You can't. It's. You can't, and it's all tattle. Tattle, tattle. Like that I feel like. And I don't know if it's the area. You know, I have some great friends from that area, but that I don't know. It's just to me it is. It is one of my best friends who actually she inspired me to. Oh, this is. This is gonna kill you. But this she inspired me to be a nurse. Actually, I I I worked at a group home before I was a nurse, and she was like, listen, you're giving meds, you're doing these nebs, you're doing, you're cooking. You're cleaning. Like, I get paid this amount, and you're getting $7.00 an hour. I was like, what? So that you know, that's why I went back for my third bachelor degree because I thought, well, something to support myself. It's I like taking care of people so anyway. She was my best friend. I had met her randomly. It was pure chance, Beth, that I had met her. It was randomly at a bar. I'm going to tell you that I had yelled her name because I had met her once. I thought she was a terrible human being, and then I got to meet her and I was like, Oh my God. Like we had hung out and we became friends. And then I got into nursing so that, I mean, that was a beautiful thing that fate had brought me to it by this nurse. But then I found out this exact friend. That I loved and had built this whole big thing that I looked up to and why I became a nurse and why I wanted to be so smart because she is. So smart I found out she voted against gay marriage.
Beth Quaas
And she knew you.
Ryan George
She knew me for years. I mean, I had to carry off the the bar floor sometimes, you know, like I.
Beth Quaas
That's a good friend.
Ryan George
Yeah, we all need those in our 20s, right?
Yes, I just.
Ryan George
That is another instance. I mean, I know that's more of a personal story, but it just comes back to nursing too. Like, I mean, that's why I got into it was because of her and all this stuff. And I looked up to her wanting to be so smart. And it just shows you the level of how people can justify the things they do. Not just in nursing. In people's personal life, but like these are people that are supposed to be non, you know, as nurses we should be non judging. We should care for those. We don't agree with or you know. Take it from me. Who I don't even put my hood up when I go into a department store because people think I'm going to rob the place, cause of my skin color, you know, and and you know me. I'm like the sweetest bubbliest person. Yeah, I feel like there is, but there are certain things that we. Kind of take for granted, I think, and especially in nursing with these personal skills. Nursing is such a hard. Career it's hard enough because we have to pretend that we're not hurting inside, that our things aren't happening to care for patient. You know, I see you. We have one to two patient ratios which are nice, but that's in the ER. You could have up to four if things. And then someone's climbing on a wall, you know, and then you're those Med surge. Nurses. Oh my. God bless them. Because I couldn't. You know, all those. And then the sundowners. You're chasing people around. I was in nursing age that unit like.
Beth Quaas
I worked in a nursing home. For a while, I remember those people.
Ryan George
It's crazy so, but I think that going, you know, people that are listening to this too. If you do get. To a point, you know I'm. I'm not quite 40 yet. I won't say the age lol. But I just think you know, there's never, I I loved my career. I loved what I did. I still miss it. But the nice thing about it is I have kind of stepped back and done things for my own self and I've actually found other things I really, really enjoyed doing. And that's just kind of what I I hope the listeners take from you know, it's hard, it is hard, but if you get to a point where you can't do it anymore. I think it's harder to step away. Than it is to keep doing something and I am thankful I was able to do that, that I had the resources to do that, you know, I. My mother still talks about it like ohh well, like, what do you do? You miss it? Like kind of like because I know she used to like to to tell people as a nicer nurse like ohh. He takes people open heart. You know that mom? Yeah. She's so proud. Yeah. Which I'm like, go for her mom. But like I'm you can be proud of me for other things, right? Like, like I have. I'm highly educated. I mean, I have all this stuff going on, but she always focuses on that one thing.
Beth Quaas
Well, this is what I know. About you. You are highly intelligent. You are a caring individual and I don't think you're done in nursing. No, not conventional nursing. But I think you have a future in teaching, mentoring, doing something because you are so good at.
MM.
Ryan George
I know I just like it's hard like to say to say. What I am going? To do with. It you know, I have step back and I want the listeners to know like I step back in September. So I I didn't step back like. I haven't been on this sabbatical for, you know, 100 years. I just stepped back because, like I said, I'm I I have. A loving husband and you know, we we don't have children other than our fur baby. Who gets, you know, quite expensive.
Beth Quaas
If you could see this, you could see their little honey laying right behind him.
Ryan George
Yeah, in here. Big old queen bed like I love. Well, thank you for that. Yeah, that that's so sweet of you. But it is hard to say what I wanna do. I do love. Teaching. You know, I one of my. Last jobs in ICU I had brought some of my best friends up from a heart center to ICU and let me tell you, that was three to six months of heavy train and it was constant. Like Ryan, I like, but I have to remember I had that uncertainty too going to ice you for six months. Like, please don't let me I remember driving into work. Thinking like please don't let me kill someone today for like 6 months. So like when you when you guys are starting out and stuff and you're like, Oh my God, I feel so uncomfortable every day you're going to that's normal. That means you care and that you're intelligent enough to know what you don't know.
Beth Quaas
Right. And I'm gonna say that.
Ryan George
You know.
Beth Quaas
I'm much more calm going to work these days, but I still say please don't let me kill anyone today.
Ryan George
Ohh absolutely. I mean I think that's every day you in your entire career, that's just what you want, you know? And like I said, it is hard that I have had such poor or bad interactions in nursing. And like I said, I don't. I don't wanna pin it on female. It is a female dominated industry. That being said, it's so toxic. How? Nurses treat each other, or even the little things they'll say to their managers or whatever, to get ahead or think they can get ahead. I mean, if you even matter on under your breath sometimes like. That one of my friends had a situation where everything was going in that wrong in that room and we've all had a situation where that's happening.
Beth Quaas
Yes, we have.
Ryan George
Where you're just like I am trying to keep. John Doe alive here. Where is my suction tubing like you know it, if things are just going wild. But we've all had that where we just. We need to. Help each other. I feel like in nursing because. It's it's so hard.
Beth Quaas
It is and if we put the patient at the middle of everything, every single minute of the day.
Ryan George
Zoom and aligned.
Beth Quaas
We would all work as a team and sometimes I think that's get that gets lost.
Ryan George
For sure, I think the teamwork aspect because they are you know. The I can get ahead this way, or maybe I'm going to. I want this job, so if I show that these people aren't doing this correctly, I mean people have reasons for their reasons and we'll never know what they are. I just like, encourage people to keep their head up. If you have to take a little break from it. Don't be working all that overtime because the money is good like I was working nights and one more shift got me to Cabo you.
Know like so I we all know it we. All know that.
Beth Quaas
You need a new refrigerator. Yeah, it's, you know that Menard's bill isn't going to pay itself, so I think.
Beth Quaas
It is. It's a fine line between I hate my job. Do I stay for the money or do I take that? Very scary leap and try to do something new.
Ryan George
I mean, that's the thing I mean. And now at my career, I do, I go for do I go back to school? Like, OK, so. And if you see my you guys can't see my eyebrows right now. But when I looked at that, I was just like, I can't like, I don't think I could do it again because. You know three I had I had an AAS degree, you know, then a BA BS, BSN. And then it's like if I just sort of went to nursing first, I could have avoided all this money and time. But now I'm like, what do I, you know, I do love teaching. I love explaining. When you take your EPI drip off because you know you don't need for hearts, you don't need EPI for, you know you need it for the contraction for a little bit, but people don't know. You keep EPI on what's going to go. Your lactic acid goes up. Most and then pretty soon it looks like you're septic. When people don't realize you need to take your levophed or your neo and use that as a constrictor instead, you know so people come. I've worked in places where they're I've had seasoned nurses that I've walked in teaching novices well, their blood pressure is going soft. Let's go up on the EPI. And you guys can't see my eyes there, but I was. She rolled them. I'll tell you that. You know, and it's like you have other mechanisms that you should be using, but until someone comes along. And knows it from someone else. You you would never know that. Now there is a.
Beth Quaas
Nursing student you don't have time to learn those.
Ryan George
You don't have time to learn the INS and outs of. You're trying to keep. You're just trying to keep yourself above. You literally have a life wrapped around your neck, and that's about as tall as you are in that water. You know, some of us learn to get on top of that. Raft a little bit. You know? And then we switched jobs and then we jump right back. Into the pool.
Beth Quaas
Well, I would say the last. 30 to 60 seconds of you talking. You're not a B plus nurse. You are a plus nurse. You are very smart. And you have a lot to teach the masters in education for you. How about that is your next degree.
Ryan George
Well, I mean, we'll see Beth. My boxer takes a lot of my time.
Beth Quaas
Miss you? Well, Ryan, I am so happy you came on and that you've shared your perspective and had this frank conversation because I think it is important for so many people. It's important for the young new nurses to hear that not everything needs to be that way. It's important for people just trying to. To move up and do things for themselves and feel good about what they're doing, to hear that you don't have to put up with people that make you feel icky. And for those people that are doing it, look at yourself and ask is if it's you, what can you do to change because you're really creating a toxic work environment.
Ryan George
Absolutely. And you said it think like that summarize. Is it perfectly? You know it is. It is hard. I know. Being a new nurse and you don't get that thick skin till you get, and sometimes you don't even fully get it because of we all have so many different paths in nursing that each one of our chapters, our stories are so different from another. But I think like we said, I've I've learned to be kinder and gentler because of these experiences, and I feel like we all need to remember that because. There are gross people in life in general, but. We just need to be there for each other, especially when other humans are involved. You know, last thing you need to do is be anxious or hate someone.
Speaker
Right.
Ryan George
Next to you, when you both are in charge of keeping someone alive, you know that's the last thing you want and yeah.
Beth Quaas
Yes, I I love that.
Ryan George
Be kind and. Be there for your be kind to yourself. Yeah, nurses be kind to yourself because I know we don't we we tend to forget. We got to care, we got to fix everything. I've taken my nursing career into fixing everything in my house.
Beth Quaas
Good for you. Well know that, Ryan, as you progress through life and decide what maybe your next steps are and what your next chapter is. I would love to have you come back.
Ryan George
I absolutely love that Beth. It's been fun and maybe next time we'll talk about something a little more fun. A bee, you know, with nurses eating. They're young. Not so dark and dark and dreary.
Beth Quaas
I think between the two of us, we have a lot of stories to share.
Ryan George
Absolutely. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me on the podcast. I love it. I love that you do this. I wish I had known about it when I was a baby nurse. It went podcast for a thing, you know. It I hope this is helpful to people and I I know that your podcast has helped people, so thank you for having me on. Thank you for giving me a voice. For my experiences, and I hope, even if two or three people hear this and it helps them, I'm glad. And for those that hear this and hate me, I guess.
Beth Quaas
Maybe they can learn from it.
Ryan George
Maybe you can learn from that.
Beth Quaas
Thanks so much, Ryan. I appreciate your time.